![]() The picture has been shot in 3-D, presumably to add depth to Cruz's cleavage.Penelope Cruz arrives in disguise, playing Jack's former flame (again, details are brushed in late) with lots of swagger and not much heat.Captain Barbosa has acquired a peg leg (explained in a late-film lull), as well as a new nemesis: Blackbeard (Ian McShane), who helms the world's grimiest pirate ship.(Wouldn't you love to have been present at that story conference?) This being the first post- Twilight installment in the Pirates franchise, its mermaids are all vampires.Can't say I miss them, but apparently the producers thought someone might, so they've been replaced by an equally bland chaplain (Sam Claflin) and mermaid (Astrid Berges-Frisbey). ![]() Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley are gone.Still, it's frenetic, and that's all most Pirates audiences expect anymore, right?Īpart from choreographed action, here's what's different this time: It's the kind of thing you can imagine Gene Kelly turning into a real tour-de-force, except he'd have insisted on doing it in one take, not with stunt doubles and chopped-up editing. There, he evades British soldiers by plunging into an 18th-century version of rush hour - horse-drawn carriages, coaches and coal carts zooming every which way as Depp leaps from moving roof to moving roof. ![]()
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